As I found myself in the place of 'worship' on Sunday morning, band playing away, voices singing, I became aware of the familiar tears again welling up in my puffy, tired eyes.
If you've experienced the closeness of God and the glimpse of His vast love, then you will empathise. They're not tears of sorrow, but a kind of elevated joy. I'm not quite sure how I 'got there', but I think it's something to do with your soul (all your fickle emotions etc) coming into sync with your spirit. (which is in constant revelation and awe of God.) When I find the magic switch that lines these guys up, I'll let you know.
But as I found myself inwardly smiling (and thanking God for another 'good worship experience') I started to remember my earlier times with the Lord. When I first began having encounters with the Lord Jesus; It was often pretty amazing.
I've been a Christian for years. It used to be a rare occasion when I would attend some kind of worship meeting and NOT feel His presence. It mattered not that I had little to no understanding of who He was. It was just that the revelation of His love was so fresh in me that I was always willing and open to let Holy Spirit do something new.
Pondering this, I heard the small quiet voice that I've come to know, gently challenging me; "Why is this not still your experience whenever you worship?"
Hebrews 2 speaks about a warning to always pay attention to the good news we have received.
'Therefore we ought to give the more earnest heed to the things which we have heard, lest at any time we should let them slip.'
Could it be there is a real danger that after years of church, Bible reading, praise meetings (not to mention marriage, jobs and three kids, God bless them) I have somehow allowed the revelation of Gods love to grow dull?
Am I less excited now about what Jesus did for me than back then? After hearing the truth of Gods enduring love again and again and again, have I somehow become subconsciously acclimatised to this amazing, life changing news?
Not to worry about me, brothers and sisters. My walk with God is secure. Every now and then He just reminds me to pay attention.
Reminds me not to let any revelation of Gods love slip; To keep His gospel alive in my heart. To still say 'Amen' whenever someone is sharing a message of the Fathers love. And not, under any circumstances (be it easy times, hard times, or midnight baby-feeding times) to allow that passion to grow cool.